Put your amazing jokes here


I tried to come up with an IPv4 joke, but there are no good ones left.


Why didn’t HTML buy anything from the clothes shop? He didn’t like the <price> tag. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:


I know a great IPv6 joke, but I don’t think you’re ready for it.


I just got both the IP jokes right now. Silly me.


I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it


If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0


Or 0.0.1 :smile:


Windows 98 supports real multitasking - it can boot and crash simultaneously


There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define “great” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level. Stuff that will make them scream, cry, and howl in pain and anger!” He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

God was fed up. In a crash of thunder he yanked up to Heaven three influential humans: Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin and Bill Gates. “The human race is a complete disappointment,” God boomed. “You each have one week to prepare your followers for the end of the world.” With another crash of thunder they found themselves back on Earth. Clinton immediately called his cabinet. “I have good news and bad news,” he announced grimly. “The good news is that there is a god. The bad news is, God’s really mad and plans to end the world in a week.” In Russia, Yeltsin announced to parliament, “Comrades, I have bad news and worse news. The bad news is that we were wrong: there is a god after all. The worse news is God’s mad and is going to end the world in a week.” Meanwhile, Bill Gates called a meeting of his top engineers. “I have good news and better news. The good news is that God considers me one of the three most influential men on Earth,” he beamed. “The better news is we don’t have to fix the bugs in Windows 95.”

EDIT: Just realized: Post number 50! We’re nearing the funny images thread!


The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance


If we’re supposed to work in Hex, why have we only got A fingers?


All computers run at the same speed… with the power off



Don’t anthropomorphize computers. They hate that!


I was on the first floor of a building. Right below the window of the room I was in, my sister was standing. I told my sister, “Can I about to defenestrate a water balloon here?” She said yes. And for some reason, she came to me a minute later, soaked, telling me I should give her a warning before throwing balloons out of the window.

EDIT: Also, Cole’s Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.


A new employee (a blonde) is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory, and she reports for her first day promptly at 0800. The next day at 0845 there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. The Foreman from the assembly line throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow, and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the two men march down to the factory floor. When they get there, the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo’s all over the factory floor and they’re really beginning to pileup.At the end of the line stands the new employee surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo’s. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo’s legs

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches the woman. I’m sorry,he says to her, barely able to I keep a straight face, but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.


Sig for forums

public static main(String args[]){

public static void sig{


var true = false;
var null = true;
var NaN = "Hi!";

// Have fun debugging.


If I didn’t see them when I was debugging I would be bald.


A frog went to visit a fortune teller. "What do you see in my future?"asked the frog

"Very soon you will meet a pretty girl who will want to know everything about you"replied the fortune teller

“That’s great. When will I met her?”

“Next week in science class.”