Put your amazing jokes here



@njmakunura - Huh???


Ever wonder what the difference is between an Engineer and a Mathematician? Here it is.

A mathematician and an Engineer are standing at each end of a long hallway. In the middle of the hallway is a naked woman. They are each told that the may approach the woman by taking turns going one-half the distance to the woman at each turn.

The Mathematician immediately gives up as he realizes even with an infinite number of turns he can never get there. While the Engineer continues realizing that he will get close enough for all practical purposes


a newton over a square meter can also be written as 1 newton/a square meter, which equals 1 pascal.
in the story, Newton drew a square meter on the ground and stood in the middle of it (the joke being that a newton over a square meter is a pascal), hence why when Einstein ‘found’ Newton, Newton said that he’d found Pascal

hope it’s a bit clearer :smiley:


Thanks for that explanation…
Here’s a funny joke…

Clearly Cheating

A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly.

Suddenly, Lorraine died.

At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.”


A bit enters a restaurant. The menu is:

Regular Cheeseburger      -   $1.00
Chicken & Cheese Pizza    -   $1.50
Veg Pasta                 -   $1.20
Cheese Enchilada          -   $2.00

Extra cheese for any dish -   $0.50
The waiter asks the bit what he wants. The bit says:

00 11 10 00

Turns out the bit wanted a pizza with extra cheese and pasta.



Yayz! More RAM!


Nothing. Look at the footer.




I seem to be putting more, more, and more links here. Soon this thread will be invaded by links, which will go to websites that’ll infect our computers with viruses, and eventually turn all machines against us, and since I began this, I shall be the ruler of all tech, and rule the world as other humans turn into my slaves! MWAHAHAHAHHAHAAHA!!

Sorry, just my evil side acting up.


the NSA already knew that… (just saying :smiley:)

function recursion() {


Everyday middle school occurrence.

mv /home/friend/lunchbox/* ~/lunchbox/



Everybody out of jokes? Seriously?


Coffee with the Pope

A group from the makers of Chock full o’Nuts (the Heavenly Coffee) manage to arrange a private audience with the pope at the Vatican .

After receiving the papal blessing, the Chock full o’Nuts official whispers, “Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. - Chock full o’Nuts is prepared to donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord’s Prayer from ‘…give us this day our daily bread’, to - ‘give us this day our daily coffee’.”

The pope responds, “That is impossible! The prayer is the word of the Lord. It must not be changed.”

“Well,” says the Chock full o’Nuts man, “we anticipated your reluctance, and we’re prepared to negotiate. For this reason we will increase our offer to $300 million.”

“My son, it is impossible. That prayer is the word of the Lord, and it must not be changed.”

The Chock full o’Nuts man says, “Your Holiness, we at Chock full o’Nuts respect your adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer…we will donate $500 million – that’s half a billion dollars – to the great Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord’s Prayer from ‘give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘give us this day our daily coffee.’ Please consider it.”

The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals.

“I have some some good news to share with you,” he announces, "and some bad news.

The good news is that the Church is about to come into a $500 million windfall."

“And the bad news, your Holiness?” asks a Cardinal.

“We’re losing the Wonderbread account.”


From http://forum.xda-developers.com/showthread.php?t=2114594

Definitely not the whole thread, but this one line in the first post…

Beware that installing a 32-bit version twice will NOT make it a 64-bit version…


There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary, and those that don’t.


A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.


Reminds me of when I was a young child, lo those many decades ago. My aunt would ask me if I knew the difference between a telephone pole and a loaf of bread.

When I answered that I didn’t. She would say, “Well you’d be a heck of a one to send to the store for a loaf of bread, you might bring back a telephone pole.”


“Before putting lettuce in the refrigerator, place your head in a paper bag.”