Put your amazing jokes here


#224

A young girl is wondering how humans came to be on the planet - and asks her mother -

“Mommy, where did people come from?” –

Her mother explains that the first two people were Adam and Eve - who had children - and then their children had children - and so on until the earth was populated with people –

So - as the girl wanders through her house, she encounters her father - and decides to ask him the same question-

“Daddy - where did the first people come from and how did the earth get filled up with people?” –

To which her father replies - "Well sweetheart - first there were apes and monkeys - and over time - many thousands of years - the apes and monkeys slowly evolved and changed into people - which is where we come from –

Understandably confused - the young girl goes back to her mother and says –

"Mommy, you said that people came from Adam and Eve - but Daddy says that they come from apes and monkeys - I don’t understand –

The girl’s mother smiles sweetly at her daughter and explains – “Oh that’s easy dear – you see, I was talking about our side of the family - and your father was talking about his side of the family”…


#225

Little Andy had not spoken a word since birth. His parents were justifiably concerned about this and doctors and psychologists determined that he was mentally and physically capable of speech.

Years went by, and still Andy never uttered a spoken word.

One morning at breakfast, when Andy was 10 years old, he suddenly blurted out: “This damn bacon is burnt!!!”

His family screamed, and cried tears of joy that Andy had spoken.

His mother then asked him, “Why did you wait all these years to speak?”

Andy looked at his mom and said…

“Up to now, everything has been OK.”


#226

A blonde goes to church and asks, “Lord, please let me win the lotto.”

Nothing happens.

A week or so later, she returns to church and says, “Lord, please let me win the lotto. My car is broken and my rent is due.”

Nothing happens.

Another week goes by. She returns to the church, and pleads, " Lord, please let me win the lotto. My car is still broken, my rent is overdue, and my kids are hungry."

The congregation all speak as one, saying, "Yes, please help her, Lord!

A booming voice comes out of the sky, saying, "I hear your prayer, but you have to meet me half way:

Buy a ticket!"